What to expect when you're expecting to return to work
By Siobhan Coleman, Head of Copy at The Hallway and mum of toddler twins. Illustrations by Tisha Lazaro, Senior Art Director at The Hallway and mum of three (including hubby)
Practice makes perfect. Spend time with millennials before you go back to work.
Take note of any buzzwords or pop culture references. Attend a music festival if possible. Alternatively, if you don’t know any real life millennials, trawl Insta(gram) or see below.
Read what they read. Subscribe to Pedestrian, Vice and Vulture. It’ll help you stay on top of the latest goss, allow you to share lol-worthy memes, and get some small talk “inspo”.
Eat what they eat. Yes, smashed avo is still a thing. Now it comes with pepita seeds and pomegranate. #delish
Here’s how to get through those inevitably booze-soaked social outings.
Power nap where possible. Get those zzzzs where you can. If that involves a quick snooze in the loo, so be it. There’s no judgement here.
Wear sunglasses. An ideal daytime to nighttime look. Disguises the permanent bags under your eyes and pitiful “two drinks and I’m done” drinking prowess.
Check your phone, often. Your screensaver serves as a cute, if not crucial reminder there’s a little person at home who a) doesn’t care if you’ve got a pounding headache and penchant for free champers and b) will be sure to rise at an ungodly hour tomorrow morning.
Tequila? Time to ghost*. Get the hell out. Now.
*v., to ghost: to leave a social gathering without notifying others in the group.
It’s possible. Consider pairing with a denim shirt (yes, they’re still en vogue) or casual sweater to cover up any overlooked slobber or food stains.
Motherhood and guilt go hand-in-hand. And unfortunately, it doesn’t really ever go away. (The guilt, not the motherhood part.) Remember, we’re not saving any lives in advertising. But simply by working, you’re helping provide for your family, while simultaneously staying sane and keeping your kids alive. And that’s no small feat. You got this, mama.
