Matt is co-chair of Youngbloods, a member of the Mentally-Healthy Change Group and Art Director at CHE Proximity. And clearly a huge fan of music beyond his years!

GIF by Jerry Jamal Scott
Words by Matt Bladin

The folly of chasing waterfalls, and other important lessons in empathy I learnt from TLC

Listening to ‘90s R&B is like a Ted Talk on feels. And multi-platinum superstars TLC were the queens of laying down a D&M for most of the decade.

Not only did their music teach us important lessons on appreciating self-worth and understanding the needs of others, but it also did so with flawless choreography.

And with the challenges we’ve all faced in 2020, practising empathy has been hard.

But luckily, pumping Spotify’s ‘R&B Classics’ at home has never been easier.

So, here are a few TLC truth-bombs we can blast, and learn from this year.

Lesson #1
“Don't go chasing waterfalls. Please stick to the rivers and the lakes that you're used to.” – ‘Waterfalls’

TLC have often proved you can make a hit even when writing in riddles, because who cares when the beat slaps, right? After all, ‘Waterfalls’ went number one everywhere from America to Zimbabwe.

But in 1994, when T-Boz (AKA Tionne Watkins) – a four-time Grammy Award-winner – helped pen the chorus to the smash hit, these cryptic lyrics had a considered meaning.

“For those that don’t understand what chasin' a waterfall is, lemme break it down…” Miss Boz told MTV at the time. She goes on to explain these words are a reminder to appreciate who, and what, you have around you when you pursue potentially selfish goals.

Reminding ourselves to stay present in the everyday moments of our relationships helps us understand how our actions can affect those we share these moments with.

Lesson #2

“My outsides look cool. My insides are blue. Every time I think I'm through, it's because of you.” – ‘Unpretty’

‘Unpretty’ was ahead of its time. The body-positive track from the late-90s is a ballad about a manipulative boyfriend who pressures T-Boz to change her appearance before she realises she’s fine as is.

The video clip suffers from an overdose of tragic ‘90s Photoshop (it’s not even worth looking up), but nonetheless, the track delivers important insight.

Empathy isn’t just something we share with other people – it’s also about how we understand ourselves.

Taking the time to understand what makes us happy and valued helps us navigate toxic external pressures. Like a boyfriend who wants to download cartoonishly large boobs onto you from his boob-computer (That’s a reference to the film clip you shouldn’t watch).

Lesson #3

“What about your friends? Will they stand their ground? Will they let you down again?” – ‘What About Your Friends?’

Let’s cut back to 1992 where TLC found themselves blowing up and experiencing a classic case of ‘mo’ money mo’ problems’.

Mo’ specific problems to do with shitty mates, who they suspect only like them for their newfound fame. ‘What About Your Friends?’ challenges the listener to look at their own relationships and acknowledge empathy is a two-way street.

It’s a reminder to focus your energy and support on people who will give it back, even when your situation is tough.

And to also be that person yourself.

Got a little more time? I’ll leave you with this...